Living, Laughing, Learning, Loving.

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How are you, better yet, how am I, better, can I tell you about my life, who am I, Joey Arnold, who am I, servant, teacher, student, producer, I believe in living, laughing, learning, loving, that is my goal, that is my motto, daily, where have I been, better yet, where am I going, I do not know, but I am now ok with that, right now, I cannot believe that I am even saying that, right now.

Where was I born, Forest Grove, OR, USA, I was raised in that city, in a trailer, why was I home schooled, why was I so far behind, couldn't talk well, my ears, my mom taught me well, thank you, mother, I was several years behind, age eight, can I tell you the details, why was I fifteen, when I started public high school, why did I take so many electives, in childcare, in drama, in writing, in cooking, in woods, in web design, in art, wow, most of the classes where in art, was I the life of the party, why was I writing encouragement articles, why was I then in three years of college, in New York, in West Virginia, why did I spend the next year in Hawaii, volunteering with The Salvation Army, as a missionary, for a whole year, working with the homeless, the youth, was it worth it, why was I always so worried about the future, while in college, I was always searching for the next college, instead of doing school work, or I would be stuck on MySpace, why do I care more about people than I do about myself, am I crazy, does that make sense, do you sense the unbalance in all of this, in life, why am I always missing life, why am I always stuck in a day dream, why is my life such a dream come true, why do I take it for granted, when I was age six, when I took that state test, why did the testers, the scientists, why were they so negative, they did not see what my mom saw, one even told my mother, "They keep kids like that in the attic," oh my, why was my IQ around 80, age seven, how was I able to catch up, was it by accident, I do not think so, the best is yet to be seen.

What do you see, still, why was I homeschooled, why is my father alcoholic, why were my parents divorced, how did I make it through all of that, below poverty, how was I able to attend three years of college, I only still owe $3,500, right now, why did I take that leap to high school, why did I have that desire, was I not dumb, why was I not content, why did I want to try, was I just like Neo, from the Matrixs trilogy, am I fighting Mr. Smith, am I fighting for a purpose, with a purpose, what am I living for, why did I go to Revolution Hawaii, can I tell you why, can I tell you that I was not sure, why would I go to Bible college, I did, I never thought I would, I was against it, why would I work with the homeless, with old people, with smelly people, why would I not want to be rich, famous, why did I give up my fame, did I change my mind, what is going on, can you see, is the best yet to be seen, where am I, where am I going, why do people die, why did my best friend die, why did my uncle die, why am I still encouraging to others, why am I not hurt, when I was at the funeral, for Tiffany Cumbo, in 2003, why did they laugh, was I really encouraging, but at a funeral, do I have that gift, I think I do, I have been aware of it since I was like age eight, I knew it, am I just another selfish pop star wannabe, I will have to argue, I know I am not normal, why do people call me oatmeal, is that crazy, why am I so crazy, can I tell you, I am deciding to be more simple, to be normal, so to speak.

Why am I living, downtown Portland, OR, $350/mo., commuting by bike, I moved here in October, 2008, that month, I started washing dishes at Kells, an Irish restaraunt, I think I am Irish, and I became an after school assistant at an elementary school, why was I working these two jobs, why was I spending all of my free time looking for additional jobs, why do I spend so much time researching on the internet, who am I, what am I, am I a scientist, am I crazy, am I just oatmeal to you, why am I always thinking in theory, in philosophy, and better yet, I know you are also wondering, why am I writing with commas, why am I not using periods like normal writers, why am I not using question marks, are these commas going to help the flow of this entry, or am I going to drive people crazy, is it worth the risk, why do I take so many risks, or better yet, why was I fired from both those jobs, the last two, at the school, at the restaurant, two months ago, in February, 2009, am I a robot, can I work with drunks, washing dishes, no talking, how fast can my hands move, why where the plates so heavy, they told me to go faster, but they also told me to go slower, details, get them cleaner, move faster, too many plates, too little space, small place, too many workers, too many demands, I now know how a nurse feels, why did they tell me that everybody can do dishwashing, if I can't do that then I can't do nothing, really, am I not a hard worker, it was so hot in that old building, everyday, I dread going there, I had to talk myself into going there everyday, why was there so much stress in it, why did the one manager buy me glasses, they are so nice to me, but why did a Mexican replace me, they text message me, on my cell phone, I don't receive text messages, and that is it, now I am off the schedule, just like that, and what about the school, I was not good enough, I was not supervising the children well enough, I was teaching some of them basketball, but boys will be boys, can I stop them from fighting, I started writing them up more, getting in their faces more, was I not strict enough, I did my best, I think, I almost swet blood, so to speak, I was good, one on one, and I am excellent at performance, in front of people, dancing, playing basketball, karaoke, you know, sorry, am I changing subjects, in mid sentences, haha, no, really, no, I am not changing subjects, all of these things are related, my skills, I was fired from jobs that I am not good at, I am not an ordinary boss, I am a tutor or an encourager to thousands, do you feel me, are you going with me, come with me.




I can tell you so much.

What do you want to know, I was home schooled, high school, college, Hawaii, now, I am living downtown Portland, OR, USA, is that sweet, how are you, how am I, why am I unemployed, are you feeling me, are you going with me, why am I so deep, can I become simple, can I become all things to all people, what am I going to do with my life, why am I so scared about simplicity, no, I am thinking, right now, today, that I need to be simple, but at the same time, somehow, I am scared of simplicity, I mean, scared of normal life, small talk, living paycheck to paycheck, I mean, I am not asking for money, or fame, I am just asking for a place, I just want to make a difference, and just like Lincoln Hawk once told me, I hate to admit, he was right, I cannot believe I am saying this but I just want to be loved, what is love, well, never mind that for now, so, therefore, I think I am getting to that place, are you coming, but that place is not a destination, it is a designation, I mean, a mindset, an eternal perspective, a focus in Jesus, I have to say, I want to be an example, a model, no matter what, I just have to be living, I just have to smile, I just have to do what I do best, no matter what, I can have joy, even when I run out of money, that is why I drop out of college, I was so upset, and even when my parents divorced, when my girl, my RA, my uncle, my grandpa, when they all died, people that I love, when friends leave me, when my heart is broken, do I want to get married, girls are too fast, they always end up marrying somebody else, but still, there is still joy, and it is not about what I want, and more over, it is about realization, that I am already there, it will be ok, I will tell you more in time, or read about my current thoughts on similar matters, in a parallel matter, at my Living for revolution blog:



http://l4r.blogspot.com

Can I tell you more, I should construct my bio, but until then, please note my passion, and in the heart of all these matters, my goals, my drive, is in L4OJ, that is, in Looking 4 Outrageous Joy, or better yet, in Living 4 Only Jesus, or in other words, my daily goals are in living, laughing, learning, and loving, that is my heart, where is your heart in, this is what I believe in, I believe in contribution, and that is what I am going to do for the rest of my life, do you want to join me, I am not asking for anything, I am not begging for anything, for fame, for power, for money, do I sound like the Joker from the Batman movie, the Dark Knight, am I a mad man, like that criminal, I do not need anything, that is my choice, that is my mindset, I have decided to be content, I have that goal, come with me for the ride of your life, I can feed you some oatmeal, aint nothing better, you will not regret it, do you feel the music, we will ride on the notes of the music, it is the rhythm of the soul, the oatmeal to the bowl.




With oatmeal in my bowl, is Jesus in your soul?